Making
the grade in today's diving world is becoming increasingly
more difficult. It's no longer sufficient to rely on
that tatty old neoprene wet suit held together by faith
and patches, or wistful tales of,
"When I were down an 'undred feet or more ..".
Now, without a distinctive field of interest, divers
are doomed to remain on the outer edge of a fragmented
activity dominated by technocrats and specialists.
Sadly the joy and thrill of simply being underwater
is, for many, no longer an end in itself. Advances in
equipment technology have pushed back the boundaries,
in the process paving the way for a new breed of divers
who regard their particular sphere of interest as being
the only legitimate diving activity and who, all too
often, disdainfully ignore those of us who fail to share
their passion.
Where conversation among divers at social gatherings
once focussed on the total diving experience the pattern
has now changed. There's still talk, of course, about
diving in general or the relative merits of particular
destinations, but all of that has become little more
than an appetiser for the sublime topic of 'Special
Interests'.
Underwater photographers talk about exposure tables,
bracketing and the like; marine biologists prattle on
about the exciting social life of coral polyps; and
'Technical' Divers - the amoeba of the
diving world! - divide into hostile sub-groups broadly
categorised by:- Cave Divers. An elitist group of equipment
"junkies" who, when not wriggling around in
small holes, preach the importance of correct gear
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configuration:
Trimix divers who measure experience by the number of
stainless steel 'D'-rings on their BCD's and who, after
several beers, will explain to you the most appropriate
method of off-gassing any tissue in the body; and Rebreather
divers who sit out on diving's leading edge arguing the
toss about the size of their breathing bags. Even Deep
Air Divers gather into defensive groups and manage the
occasional mumble or glassy-eyed twitch.
The remainder, those of us without a
"speciality", become bewildered,
stutter a lot, and wonder whether we could ever have really
enjoyed our diving without the benefit of such interests
or knowledge!
The
major problem, however, in acquiring a special interest
is that of cost. It can be expensive and time consuming.
And if, like me, you have no real desire to go fossicking
around in underwater caves or spending hours at a time
on a decompression bar, but just want to enjoy diving
for its own sake, then it may seem to be a pointless exercise.
It's not! Now that the inmates have taken over the asylum
it's imperative that all we 'normal' divers become experts
in obscure, ocean related topics. I, for example, aware
of my own inadequacies and with a strong desire to be
- providing it costs nothing - a meaningful contributor
to all future conversations with divers, recently decided
to become a Phycologist! (It surprised me to learn just
how many of my former friends believed that I already
was one!)
A 'phycologist' is, of course, an expert on sea-weeds.
A quick glance through Dr Hermione Catfolly's classic
work, 'A Lay-Person's Guide To Physcology' and I'd mastered
sufficient terminology to get me past the, "And
what's your particular diving interest?" stage
of any conversation.
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I
now know that sea-weeds are algae, structurally simple
plants that fall into three groups most easily determined
by their colour; red [Rhodophyta], brown [Phaeophyta],
or green [Chlorophyta], with a less important fourth group
consisting of blue-green algae [Cyanophyta]. Providing
food and shelter for vertebrates and invertebrates alike,
seaweeds are an integral part of the food chain and, being
chemically rich, have been harvested by man for centuries,
for use as fertiliser, medicine and food.
As
a speciality, 'phycology' may not rank as one of the all
time diving greats, but as a guaranteed gob-stopper for
future non-meaningful chatter with a hearing impaired
mixed-gas guru it'll do just fine. Providing there isn't
a real Fu... Fu… Phycologist around!
Now
that the inmates have taken over the asylum it's imperative
that all we 'normal' divers become experts in obscure,
ocean related topics.
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